Welcome to my blog. The main purpose for starting this blog is to talk about my son, Collin James, who was stillborn on July 1st, 2010. I know it can be an uncomfortable subject for some people, so those people who know me and want to know what happened, or whats going on with me, they can come here. Everyday is a different battle for me it seems, and writing helps. thank you for reading, and don't be afraid to comment if you are here!


Monday, July 19, 2010


Tuesday is Collin's Memorial Service. I decided in the hospital I wanted to write him a letter to be read at the service. I've been putting it off. So many things that I want to say are crammed into my brain, but I don't know how to get the thoughts down to my fingers to type them. Nothing is perfect enough for me to say to my perfect Angel.

There has been so much going on in preparing for this service. What am I going to do after the service is over? I won't have anything to focus on... to keep me from remembering I'm supposed to be spending these days caring for a newborn. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared of the freetime, terrified of the silence. I hope I can make it. I have to be strong for my Collin.

Again, it's late. I need to force myself to start trying to sleep earlier.


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