Welcome to my blog. The main purpose for starting this blog is to talk about my son, Collin James, who was stillborn on July 1st, 2010. I know it can be an uncomfortable subject for some people, so those people who know me and want to know what happened, or whats going on with me, they can come here. Everyday is a different battle for me it seems, and writing helps. thank you for reading, and don't be afraid to comment if you are here!


Sunday, October 24, 2010

Pics from 10/15/10

These are some of the pics from the candle lighting on October 15th. Such a great view from this park... and its 2 minutes from my house :)

Friday, October 15, 2010

October 15th

Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Tonight at 7 all parents of angels are asked to light a candle in rememberance of their little one. I will be going to Hilltop Park in Signal Hill with some fellow Mommy's to do this tonight.

I'm glad I have such a busy day today, but thankful I am able to be there tonight as well. I will also be lighting a candle for 2 of my friends children as well.

I miss you everyday my precious baby boy!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Angel Blankets from Collin

My first blanket was given to Sharon, the chaplain at LB Memorial, last night. I hope it helps bring a family some comfort in their time of need. I can't wait to make more blankets and help teach others how to sew the blankets as well. I've been praying for the family who recieves the blanket. Even though I will probably never know who they are, they will be a part of me now. Maybe someday they too will find comfort in helping others in need.

The tags we made to go on the blankets.

Ready to go!

Collin's bear with the first blanket to be handed out :)

<3 <3 <3

The Walk

On October 9th, we participated in the Walk to Remember Los Angeles, held at Recreation Park in Long Beach. It was such a great experience! I met some amazing people, and it was so nice to see people come together for the same cause.

My mom, my sister, my stepdad, and 2 friends Alison and Jen joined me, and we were "Team Collin". We made T-shirts and got a ton of compliments on them. My sister made bracelets to hand out, with pink and blue ribbons to represent Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. They were a hit! Everyone kept asking others where they had gotten the bracelets, and we ran out quickly.

The walk was a 5k, not too long and not too short. All of the babies names were places on signs throughout the walk. I was lucky enough to get a larger sign for Collin, which was really neat. It was the first thing I saw when I got out of the car, I had to stop myself from breaking down before the event had even begun! But my sister saw me and my reaction to the sign, and quickly ran over to give me a huge hug. There was a memorial service prior to the walk. All of the mothers recieved a rose as their childs name was read, and of course my sister was right there again when I needed her, after I got my rose.

After the walk my sister and I stuck around for the picnic. We got some raffle tickets, and we actually won a necklace. My sister is going to get an Auntie necklace. My sister also got Collin an angel bear, there was a booth with girls engraving ribbons to personalize the bears. I know I will cherish it forever!

Here are a few photos. My camera was acting up, which explains the pink tint. We are participating in the Orange County Walk to Remember on the 23rd, I hope to get more pictures, that aren't pink, then! The first pic is my absolute favorite... it looks like Collin is shining down on all of us from above. It gives me goosebumps. I can't wait to get it printed and framed! I'm so thankful for this event, to help raise awareness, allow us to meet other Mommy's such as ourselves, and to provide a positive experience for us all. I can't wait to do it again next year!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Love this quote!

“I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.”

So true.