Welcome to my blog. The main purpose for starting this blog is to talk about my son, Collin James, who was stillborn on July 1st, 2010. I know it can be an uncomfortable subject for some people, so those people who know me and want to know what happened, or whats going on with me, they can come here. Everyday is a different battle for me it seems, and writing helps. thank you for reading, and don't be afraid to comment if you are here!


Saturday, July 17, 2010

First Post...

Well, if you are reading this, first of all I should say welcome. I mainly created this blog to have a place where I can put down my story / memories, so I don't forget them. I recently suffered a tragedy that no one should ever have to go through, my son, Collin James, was stillborn. I've been doing research online, trying to find answers about why, how this happens, how other Moms deal with this, etc. It's crazy how little information there is about it, yet it happens to so many families every single day. My sister says it's not just the elephant in the room, it's the elephant in the world. No one talks about it, no one warns you that it could happen... then suddenly your world is forever changed and flipped upside down.

My hope is that someday someone will be able to read this blog and find some comfort in the fact that they are not the only one going through this. Hopefully some of my friends will read it, and get a better insight as to what I'm going through, or what I'm feeling. I can tell that people don't really know what to say, are afraid to ask what happened, are unsure of a lot of things. I want my loved ones to realize that I'm still me, perhaps a little more fragile... even though everyone is telling me how strong I am. I'm a mom now... I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy... Even though I don't have him in my arms, he is still my son, he is my Angel Baby. It hurts to talk about him, but at the same time I love to talk about him. Please don't be afraid to ask, if I don't want to talk about it, I'll kindly let you know.

It's getting late and I need to try to get some sleep, so I will update more soon.



  1. Teej when I read this, you are so right about people not talking about the possibility of this happening. I knew this could happen, because of the complications I had during my pregnancy. I also knew this could happen, because it happened to one of Wade's family members. Their son would have been a month older than Wiley. They found out what caused their son to be stillborn. His name is Adam. His mom (Wade's cousins wife) had pre-eclampsia, but it was diagnosed too late. They recently had a miscarriage in May this year. She had a tumor in her uterus. She was about 4 months along. I cannot begin to understand how this feels to either of you ladies. It just makes my heart hurt for you both. You are right, I never knew what to say. I didn't want to say the wrong thing. I still have no idea what to say. I'm sorry if this comment is out of place. I hope you don't mind me reading.

  2. Hey Laura...

    I don't mind you reading at all! I needed a place to write, and I know that some people may be uncomfortable reading things, so instead of posting anything on facebook, I just do it here. I'm so sorry for Adam's parents, I can't imagine losing 2 children. 1 is more than I can bear, 2 is unthinkable.
    As far as not knowing what to say, just try to be there for Wade's family. You've done a great job at being supportive to me and my family... it's good to know kind people like you, and your sister, are still around.
    Thank you for reading :)

  3. I will always be around if you need anything. Hugs!